Why do we celebrate "bhai phota" or "bhai dooj"?
From the time I can remember, a day after Kali Pujo/Diwali was a day marked with tremendous excitement. We would celebrate "bhai phota". And that meant an amazing lunch and a house full of laughter and guests. Gifts were exchanged along with stories of our daily lives.
As a child my sister and I were hardly gender tutored or conditioned. I do not remember, barring a few of my pesky relatives, anyone remotely interested to show us the difference between the two sexes. And hence we sisters merrily kept growing with this belief that no such difference existed, be it woman and man or rich and poor.
After a few 'bhai phota' celebrations, it occurred to is that something is not quite right. Each year we waited with hope that perhaps this year our brothers would celebrate "Bon phota". It never happened.
Perplexed and agitated we sought our Mother's insight and knowledge.
"Why do our brothers never celebrate a day for us?"
Maa is an amazing woman. She smiled, hugged, stuffed our mouth with coconut laddoos and in her soft voice said, "I knew my daughters would raise this Question one day. I am glad the day came so early. You see, our society does not particularly like us women. And this is a global phenomenon. We are either heralded as a deity or vilified as witch. May be that stems from an ingrained insecurity pertaining to the fact that women are very smart and capable and the society does not want us to grant us that. Well, my lovely daughters you need not worry too much about this. Let me share a magic spell with you that will soon give you the recognition you deserve. Stay focused, free your mind of bondage of bias and celebrate your life. Soon, the world will accept you for what you are and perhaps one fine autumn morning the brothers will celebrate "Bon phota/behen dooj" to rejoice the fact they have such fantastic human beings as their sisters. I have showed you the way of love and you are free to express that in any way to your brothers. The choice is yours."
With a new found grit and resolve and a heart full of love, the two sisters continued praying for their brothers each year, with a fervent hope that may be the next time, the festival calendar mentions a "day for sisters" as well.
P.S - To all my brothers, we love you and we know you do the same. Never liked the idea of quantifying love and affection to certain days. But bro, think about it, another day of festivity would mean lots of fabulous food and some awesome gifts. So, what say? 😜😜😜
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