Its acid inside and out

The pain is now unbearable. It will never subside. I wont let it. This is the punishment I deserve. For breaking a heart, for breaking my own life. When I did not have right to control my life, how did I take it upon myself to tear someone's life apart? Nobody can forgive me, no one should lend me an inch of their shoulder to cry on. I deserve not a single word of comfort. All that should come my way are sleepless nights, dark tears, memories that shall haunt me from here on. 


Yeah, many shall say tell me to move on and that all that happens has a higher, if not a better purpose. I agree. But this is no excuse to keep hurting and twist some relationship to a painful demise. I have done that. I am guilty of that and worse. 


I see perplexed looks around me. Nobody knows what am I trying to achieve. So what its not my heart, my emotions. But was it too difficult for me to not just take care of that heart? I let myself down. I have hurt many. I feel ashamed to utter a sorry. 


Life spares no pain. Pain spares not a single vein inside of me. 


Its a saving grace that tears flow silently. 


(this one may have typos and grammatical errors. )