Much Ado About Many Things

She came running helter skelter. One cannot run like that on Delhi roads, but then yeah that was the state of her mind and rest of the things that moment, or so it seemed. Opened her mouth to speak. Nothing apparently emerged. Only after a few sips from the tumbler was she able to get her voice and breath back. 


"Mamon Di, the ranking's not too good. I am worried I may not get a seat." She almost broke down in tears as she uttered the last few words. Lets call her "T" in order to protect her from sympathetic 'ooh and aah' and gasps. She rather get that elusive seat than our comforting words.


Six months of rigorous preparation, giving up a well paying job, so much for that seat? Is that reasonable? Our rationality will vehemently shake its head in disagreement and disapproval. But would she have done anything lesser to get what she ardently wanted? No. Neither would anyone with a strong desire of want. Like an Italian proverb goes "Where passion is high, reason is low". And thank God for that. 


Totally incompetent to console someone, I made a few calls to people I thought would be of some help.  Assurances from some quarters kept our hopes alive for a few more days. But not for too long.


Today,  was the day when she was to get a chance to claim a seat. It was the last day of 'Counselling'. I could never figure out why was that cruel process of rejection or limitless waiting that students are subjected to, be termed so. Its perhaps a hogwash, a sugar coated poison, that allures, assures, but is in fact a weapon to mutilate the spirit beyond recognition. Anyway, she already spent many a sleepless night to go figure her status on August, 2, 2012.


But "T" did not get that One seat. Even before the dust had settled in the "Counselling Chamber", a notice read loud and clear "Admissions closed for General Category in all three centres." 


Tentatively, I texted her, more worried about the lack of consolatory words and gestures I suffer from.  Pat came the reply, "Di, Do not worry. I am fine." Was she speaking the truth? I would never know. Being human, guarantees more fallibility than we wish to recognise and give credit to.


For the last whole week, we were talking a lot. She needed someone to listen to her, reason it out with her and may be show her another option if there was. I was doing all the talking and making SOS calls because "T" and her condition reminded me of my initial days in Delhi.  I was like a stray animal which had mistakenly sauntered into the city and its much haloed UNIVERSITY. Nobody saw, nobody cared, nobody even bothered to let me complete sentences. Delhi was a sea and I was obviously drowning in the cruel madness of this place, at the least with my admission. Even to this day, the stray-ness persists.


Those were times when, admission in Delhi University was nothing like what it is today. No media mayhem, no day to day coverage or fancy newspaper articles. The only thing that the newspapers published, more as an obligation, was the cut-off list. That was it. And yeah the much debated and controversial annual article in "India Today" to throw some light. 


I just knew about 3 colleges when I arrived. LSR, St. Stephens, Hindu and Jesus and Mary. The form said there were almost 8O colleges. Some of them I have not yet located. 


Now its been a decade, completed all the courses I could think of till yet. But the struggle of that first month in this city remains etched on my psyche. Cannot blame the colleges for their nonchalance as they go about dealing with scores of students. However, all of it is such an unfair deal for the student. They struggle, they  cry, they push and pull. Yet the whole system makes a mockery of their aspirations, toil and labour. Do they deserve that? Well that I set aside for some other day.


So when "T" came to me, it was like my past paying me a visit. I wanted to help her as much as I could. It was not enough, its quite clear now. "So much want to study in North Campus", these words refuse to die. They wont, because its her dream. It may be broken, but not destroyed. 


I do not want to load her with pearls of wisdom or words of encouragement. Let her sulk, cry, wail and get the pain of rejection and dejection out of her system. It will take time for her to pick up from where she left and find a new course. But I am sure 'T" shall eventually reach out. Then failure shall not count. It never counts. And like Zig Ziglar said "Failure is a detour; it is not a dead-end street" , so shall she chalk out a new destiny, a new purpose and new motivation. 


As for me, you can find me ruminating on the fallout of a flawed education system in some lazy corner of my house.  I try to work out my confusions through this strange process of blogging. Why do I find it strange? Well another something for some other time. 


P.S - Hope "T" shall land the lucrative PSU job that has arrived in the market.